Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Rugby on the slippery slope

This comment has been a long time coming. It has been clear for some time that the noble game of rugby is close to the edge. Close to morphing into that hateful, disgraceful shitpile that is football.

No one would every argue professionalism was a bad thing. It improved the game, no question. It was quite right that English players should be given the opportunity to turn professional to compete on a level playing field with arrogant kiwis who were "rugby development officers' or whatever bullshit title the kiwi government decided to give them at the time. Christ, the kiwis were pro 15 years before us Europeans followed suit.

But I am watching the degeneration of rugby, the Chairman's second love, with real sadness. Every day, it moves closer to football.

Let's start with the clubs. The RFU did its best - it implemented a salary cap, it spent months and months negotiating with the clubs for access to England players, providing ample compensation in return. But the clubs have told the RFU to fuck off. They always want more, lead by the arrogant, hateful Mark McCafferty.

Like football, we are seeing an invasion of average foreigners in the league, depriving English talent of game time. Glamour signings which achieve nothing (like football, there are the good eggs - the Phillipe Sellas and Castrogiovannis, but by god there is some shit out there).

Premier clubs pick fights daily with the RFU, and all of it hampers the national side. Like football, where the clubs hold the power and the national game is treated with disdain, the same thing is happening in rugby.

Behaviour: the old rules of respect in rugby are flying out the window. The disgraceful Tuilagi/Ashton incident still grates. This litle yob represents everything which is going wrong with the game. Same goes for that buffoon Cockerill. I am scratchng the surface here, but while Tuilagi and Foden remind me of frankly any premiership footballer, so does Cockerill remind me of aggressive bullys like that ridiculous Scotch shop steward Ferguson.

The game is rotten. Its turning into football.

The clubs think the club game is secondary to the national game. The RFU is now starting to resemble the FA under the ridiculous Steele. God how the RFU is now missing the steady hand of Baron. The players are forgetting their responsibilities. The old guard of Wilko, Moody etc are fading, only to be replaced by fuckwits like "Danny" Cipriani (whose continuing descent into obscurity is most amusing, and utterly inevitable).

Another catalyst for this post was the signing of Henson and "Willie" Mason by Toulon. I note Toulon have decided not to give that bronzed sociopath Henson a contract. Well thank god. Yet they still spends thousands on an old, out of shape ex-league player Mason, whose track record is a long series of shit.

What the hell is Toulon thinking? Do you think Wilko will be pleased about this? If he stays, it will be out pure blind loyalty, but Toulon is a shambles. It didnt even qualify for Eutrope this year. Why? Because they keep buying shit foreign players.

Deeply depressing.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Olympic Flame and that dreaded word "community"

The Chairman has been dreading the olympic games in London since the day it was decided London should bid. Yes, he's applied for some tickets. You have to don't you? I'll watch a bit of rowing and cycling, unless it becomes amply clear the Aussies will win everything, in which case I will make a sharp exit.

But the thought of the equality obsessed politically correct mandarins which dominate anything and everything in our sorry feeble excuse for a nation controlling every aspect of these games fills me with dread.

Just imagine what the opening ceremony is going to be like. Its even worse that we have to follow the truly magical, extraordinary Beijing games (god, who remembers that laughable "London Bus" joke at the closing ceremony by the way?).

The LAST thing these hippy lefties arranging the opening ceremony will want to do is celebrate anything which is geat about Britain. Our glorious history, our empire, our ownership of the seas, global trade, once magnificent armed forces, impact of our tiny nation all over the world.

No. All that will be deemed offensive and racist. We'll be left with a claasic multicultural all-inclusive shambles. Thousands of ethnic minority kids running around the place in a disorganised rabble. Why? Because rehearsals would have been too hard for the poor little kiddies. Gay group floats, Beckham, global warming, ghastly kiddie choirs singing out of tune, but nicely representative of "London's diverse ethnic mix" etc etc etc.

I see the Olympic flame route in Blighty has been set. Well in terms of giving a clue as to what these hopeless games will be like, the "organisers" have decided no athletes will carry the flame. Instead we will get members of that dreaded word "community" carrying it.

We all know what that means.

God, this is going to be a national embarrassment.

Update: The Chairman didnt get any fucking tickets. Fuck.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Leaping Case of Rio Ferdinand

So Man Utd win the Premiership. Well whoop-di-fucking-do.

I just haven't got the energy to deconstruct the laughable "Premiership". It's a contradiction in terms. A worthless cesspit of shysters on the make, corrupt officials, lazy rapist footballers and foreigners.

Jesus, what the hell was Tevez thinking draping himself in the Argentian flag? Did no one else find that offensive? Imagine if an Englishman had draped himself in a British flag in Argentina? He'd last 5 minutes. We are a weak, thoughtless, self-loathing nation.

But on the the subject of this post.

Why must that wonky-mouthed bed-ridden lout "Rio" Ferdinand jump onto the shoulders of any player that scores?

Am I really the only person to notice this? It's not on the odd occasion is it? It's EVERY time. A Man Utd player scores, he is chased by this lanky, soft buffoon, who promptly jumps on his back and screams obscenities at the crowd.

It drives The Chairman potty. It's like the inevitability of KP giving away 4 overthrows every time he fields. You know its going to happen and yet no one does anything about it.

I would love, just LOVE for our Rio to fall on his precious 150k-a-week arse just the once and wipe that ghastly, ignorant lop-sided grin of his gurning mug.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

AFL shows how it is done...

To my noble Brit readership, AFL is of course Aussie Rules Football.

The Chairman loves his "footy" as they call it out here. The fact they call any game with a ball (apart from cricket) "footy" is by the by. I'm talking Aussie Rules.

Aussie Rules is the equivalent of football in England (at least as close an equivalent as it is possible to get). The competition is the widest followed, pays the highest wages etc etc. It is an astonishing game. These players are freakishly fit, brave and hard. They put the puny physiques of our drug addicted football "elite" to shame. They put their bodies on the line every week. The mileage they cover every game is eye watering.

The game is superbly run out here. The Governing Body, despite being run by a sociopath leftist megalomaniac who seems to think it is the AFL's role to be talking about "climate change" is a model governing body. Swift decision-making, massive emphasis on player responsibilty, game development and post career training.

The effort that goes into grass roots in this country is astonshing. It puts our lamentable, hateful football to shame. The last thing anyone in this disgusting code cares about is grass roots. The small clubs, those clubs underneath the fantasy Premiership bubble. They treat the game with contempt. And are praised for it. And yet we still wonder why our supposed leading players in the country can't use both feet and seem knackered after 20 minutes.

Because they are bone idle, hateful, lazy pikeys, who care more about which bimbo they are going to abuse next than they do about representing the club that pays their wages.

But the point of this post is on a ruling The Chairman has only just discovered.

Every AFL registered player HAS to spend one day a week studying or working.

You English read that again. Yes. Even the mega stars (for that is what they are out here), need to study or work one day a week.

I was always amazed at how eloquent so many AFL players were. How interesting game analysis was when players were on the panel. They knew what they were talking about and were able to express themselves. Now I know why.

Jesus wept, these ex players on MOTD are just fucking weak. Idiots to a man. Gary Linekar? Give me strength. The bloke is a midlands pikey. And as for the post game interviews with moron monosyllabic footballers. I mean it's just embarrassing.

Why? Because our ghastly game does NOTHING to educate these yobs. They are not taught to seak, to take responsibilty for their own actions. They are instead lauded, praised, spoilt, treated like royalty. And we wonder why every game we watch we are treated to disgusting behaviour, to violence, to stupidity.

God I hate football.

Why does the spineless FA not fucking do something about it? Why not a one day a week rule in the UK? Let's send these ill-educated vermin back to school. Let's send them to an office a day a week. Learn how real people live. Learn how some people actually do seem to blindly care for the club that pays these grotesque wages and all they get is contempt in return. Yes you Rooney, you fat oik. You, who blackmails a club into vastly increasing your wage, while stuffing your fat face full of over priced pizza while apparently recovering in Dubai.

But they don't. The bastards get away with whatever the fuck they like, mocking us all. They are brainless. Can any of Cole, Rooney, Dyer even speak English properly? They are completely detached from reality, and the FA does nothing about it.

One day a week study or work. Imagine that in the UK. We can but dream.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Backing up" and the cowardice of our footballers

Last weekend in Australia, those mighty players of the NRL did something extraordinary. At least it looked extraordinary to this Englishman, so used to the endless bleating by our jumped up football managers over the "workload" of their preening players.

You see, on Friday night, there was a league test match between Australia and New Zealand.

At the same time, a trial match for the "State of Origin" series (where players from Queensland and NSW play in a 3-match series of frankly bizarre intensity) was played for the NSW side (called City v Country). The next day - yes, about 14 hours later, nearly every player involved in these 2 high intensity games, then turned out for their clubs.

This is called "backing up" in Oz and it is a symbol of why Australian sportsmen are tough and have that "never say die" attitude we so struggle to replicate in our embarrassing excuse for a country.

Just imagine for a moment, what would be the reaction in Premiershipland if football players were asked to "back up".

Wenger would be crying for weeks, in that ridiculous comedy French accent he refuses to lose after 12 years in our country. We'd be mopping up his tears until Autumn. Ferguson, that hateful Scotch shop steward, would be screaming blue murder at the FA (not through the BBC natch) saying his "poor" players are overworked and simply cannot play twice in a 2 days. The players themselves would bleat about being too tired to play. The whole clamour would be deafening.

Yet NRL is a far harder game. They train harder for longer, play harder, risk horrendous injury every time they set foot on the field earning, lest we forget, less in a year than what Rooney takes home in 3 days. If any sportsman should not back up, its these guys. I note by the way mighty cyclists don't complain about riding 20 days straight in the tour de france do they?

No. What this illustrates is the depths to which football has sunk. These privileged, bone idle, spoilt, cosseted pseudo rapists we call fotoballers are simply pathetic. They would never back up and the cheerleaders in the MSM (yes you, Winter) laud them for it.

Grow a spine you idle, fat, lazy footballers. Stop complaining about your workload and get back on the training paddock. Ashley Cole, how about using some of your spare time to learn to kick with your right foot, you hateful little weasel?

Next time you hear Wenger moaning about having to play a pointless Carling Cup game (which by the way he mocks) on Tues night, with his vast squad of players, who then have to play a league match on Sunday, just think about the league boys in the NRL.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

3 captains: laughable

So the ECB has confirmed that the three England cricket sides will now be lead by three different captains.

Needless to say, The Chairman thinks this is laughable. More importantly, it is entirely unsustainable, arguably a dereliction of duty by the ECB (it certainly shows muddled thinking and an element of cowardice, not for the first time it must be said - KP... Zimbabwe etc etc).

Firstly of course, neither Cook, nor Broad are even close to being sure of their place in the sides they now captain. A captain simply must merit his place in the side. This is a basic requirement.

Cook has not played one day cricket for England for ages. He is not the first choice opening batsman in one day cricket. On that basis alone he should not be captain. But let's look at other factors. Cook is slow in the field and restricted to positions reserved for the more leisurely pace of test cricket - short leg, gully. He offers nothing in the field.

Cook has not even captained his school sides. Saying he captained well in Bangladesh is offensive and of course entirely irrelevant. My late grandmother, gawd bless her, would have captained England to a series win against a bunch of 5-foot tall under-nourished Bangladeshis. He has shown nothing to indicate and tactical nous, or indeed leadership.

The great Ian McGeechan picked Martin Johnson as captain of the Lions before he captained England as he wanted to strike fear and respect into the opposition. Cook isn't even shaving yet. He is a boy in a man's clothing. The fact he had a wonderful Ashes is irrelevant to his ability to skipper a one day side. It is just baffling.

Even more so is the decision to choose that loose cannon Broad as skipper of the T20 side. Collingwood was a fighter. A hugely respected team man who overcame his clear talent shortcomings by hard graft and determination. The players wanted to play for him. He lead from the front.

Like Cook, Broad is by no means sure of a starting place on merit. He has not played for months, had a dismal Ashes and has a highly questionable attitude. Let's not forget he was spanked for 6 sixes in one over not so log ago. His bowling is often plain rubbish, his batting is determined entirely by luck. His behaviour on the field is simply not good enough to be considered captain. Like that idiot "Ricky" Ponting who regularly embarrassed an entire nation by his childish antics, Broad does not have the respect he needs to be a captain of a national side. Nor frankly does he merit his place in the England team. The ECB picked him even though he has not even turned out for Notts this season. Is this a joke? Why does the ECB pick players on reputation rather than form? No other country does this.

I have nothing personal against Broad or Cook. They seem ok to me. But captains they are not.

And what about the principle of having 3 captains. Well it won't work will it. There wil be confusion, issues over hierarchy as the same players switch between the codes. Differet styles, views, opinions on selections. It is a confusing mess and it is typically spinelss of the ECB to take that they think is the easy way out. All this bullshit about new young faces, fresh start etc is plain bollocks. Can you see KP happy to take instructions from a blonde beanpole who tweets about playstation and backs away from fast bowling?

Laughable. It will end in tears.