Monday, July 12, 2010

The truth of the "quality" of English football laid bare...

I haven’t got the energy for another rant about football and English footballers in particular. I think my opinion of our noble footballers is well known. I did think it was impossible for me to think any less of them than I did, but I regret to say they have succeeded. That the media seemed to be looking for excuses to get rid of Capello is indicative of the total contempt I have for English football The media are implicit in the creation of this monster. Christ, I utterly loath footballers. I hate them, more than I hate Gordon Brown. The most vapid, spoilt, pikey, thick, violent, lazy, ill-educated, vermin, hateful bunch of pseudo rapist scum. The game is rotten, top to bottom. And I don’t mean that in a flippant sense. It really is beyond disgraceful - like a decaying apple tossed from the window of one of their Ferrari 360 Modenas into a dirty gutter, as it mixes with Keiron Dyer’s piss outside some beastly Newcastle discotheque. The stench emanating from the FA, from the Premier League and from its filth Sky paymasters makes me vomit. Self interested, vain-glorious, hypocritical goons slithering around the greasy corridors of power, laughing all the way to the bank, funded by thousands of northern thickos spending 20 hours a day watching satellite TV at the expense of the grotesquely over burdened private sector employee. The same monkeys who in 5 weeks time, after burning effigies of some idiot England player in feigned disgust, pop along to some ghastly stadium, built out of the ruins of a once great victorian industrial heartland, to scream racist obscenities at goons who earn more in a week than they claim in DSS benefits in 4 years. Christ, how did it come to this.

But just as an aside, and the reason for this missive, I saw an interesting stat in today’s media:

“Of the 184 players still involved in the World Cup, less than 10 per cent ply their trade in England. The true worth of the EPL has been laid bare.”

What a damning indictment of the so-called “quality” of the EPL. As I have often, often stated (and I note gits like Henry Winter still can’t see the wood from the trees – they are after all, as I said earlier, complicit in the creation of the EPL monster as it keeps their dirty little typing fingers in gainful employment – jesus – have you seen the amount of bogus analysis written about football? “ooh, look, Alex Ferguson is a master of mind games isn’t he?” No he’s not, he’s a rude, spoilt scotch shop steward who got lucky. Nothing more. He is not some goddamn machiavellian genius, making pithy comments timed to perfection. It’s this ridiculous over analysis of the game which has elevated him to such heights. It’s risible.

It’s a myth that England have world class players. A MYTH. The only reason, for example, Lampard looks capable is he plays alongside Essien & Ballack. The only reason Gerard occasionally looks good (though people tend to forget the number of times he gives away possession) is because he plays alongside Torres and Mascherano.

You take away that quality and what are you left with? A bunch of preening primadonnas who have been badly, wonderfully found out (as was totally inevitable). Will anything be done? Of course not. The press scream and shout, the then Murdoch machine gets into gear and the EPL is suddenly the most wonderful league in the world full of the best players and off we jolly well pop to pay for our monthly Sky subscription, maybe with telephone and internet lumped in – hooray – only 40 quid a week and FREE installation with SKY PLUS! And it comes with 8 music channels, Sky One and free Film 4, which shows, like, really good films an’that.

Saturday 14 August. Villa v West Ham. And so the cycle begins again.

Webber should stop moaning

Mark Webber's sanctimonious reaction to the Vettell car parts fiasco is typical. There is nothing an Aussie likes more than to take deep offence at any perceived "sleight". All their sports teams do it. Remember Ponting spitting out his dummy when asked a perfectly innocent question about whether England had bragging rights? The media of course are loving it - anything to make Formula One a bit more exciting. Meanwhile, "Skeletor" Webber has been walking around the paddock with a face like a smacked arse. Not so much as a word of thanks to a team working 24/7 to provide him with a car which is clearly faster than every other, thereby giving a decidedly average driver the opportunity to win GPs. No, Webber is stomping around with his feeble chest stuck out raging at the injustice of it all when he should be saying thanks. Well boohoo, you big cry baby. Grow a spine and stop moaning

Monday, July 5, 2010

A guide to the Chairman of Selectors

The Chairman of Selectors was borne out of the simple frustration of watching useless, bone idle, spineless sports governing bodies continue to preside over the escalating chaos of running their respective codes. Be it the dismal, corrupt officiating of the FA, to the blinkered, cowardly, incompetent mugs at the ECB. Our national sports are run by incompetents. This is reflected in the shoddy selection of national teams and the dire performance of our frequently over-remunerated sports "stars". We can expect to see regular reviews of squad selections on this website and no player representing our nation, in whatever sport, can expect his poor performances to go unnoticed. Yes, that means you Wayne Rooney, you ghastly oik, and you "Jade" Johnson, who continues, inexplicably, to receive lottery funding. Enough is enough.