Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Cook saga part 1

I am prepared to put my neck on the line and predict Cook will score heavily in the first innings of the Oval test.

He will fail again in the second innings, almost certainly, but he will score 75 plus on a beautiful track.

It’s simple really. The law of averages says Cook will score some runs.

And of course when Cook spawns a few, it sets the selectors off again, saying they were right to keep selecting him, while all the spineless ex-player commentators (Boycott a notable and welcome exclusion) will also be able to say it was right for him not to be dropped. I note, everyone is saying he should not be dropped as you should not drop an opener… JESUS, at what point DO you drop the bastard then? Nasser, Athers, Stewart (Tower), Agnew (WHO IS TOO BONE IDLE to even write his own effing BBC blog), Hughes. Every one to a man saying keep Cook in but adding lame caveats like “he is on notice”.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be in a England selectors meeting? All nice small white sarnies with the crusts cut off, smoked salmon, coronation chicken and scones. Nice tea in a proper tea pot, served by a uniformed goon in a beautiful room just off the Long Room at Lords. But just who are they?

Geoff Miller: average test player. In since 2000. Staid, out of touch, spineless.
Ashley Giles: the King of Spain – a club player who got very, very lucky. How on earth has he managed to get onto the selection committee? He picks his mates. Schoolboy stuff.
James Whitaker: a county player for god’s sake.
Flower: an introverted Rhodesian.
And Lord Snooty who spends more time fiddling with the annoying ring necklance, cos his marriage is BETTER THAN YOURS, ok?.

Oh, and we now have TWO Australians in the management set up. Again, I say class action against the ECB for crimes against cricket, negligence and all round cowardice.

*gives up*

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