Manu Tuilagi, and the deeply depressing England rugby squad

Just musing on the likely starting XV at the RWC in a couple of months, it struck me what a dire state the game finds itself in in England at the moment. The quality of the squad is simply lamentable. All this talk of "bolters" and the ridiculous Tuilagi, inter alia, is a smokescreen for the raw truth: England rugby has gone backwards by some distance since 2003. Clearly the RFU shambles is not ideal, but this does not explain the decay in the game.

For the Chairman at least, it is symbolic of the decay of our once great nation, which is now a sorry, self loathing, lazy, feeble, embarrassing, weak, pathetic excuse for a nation state. A country full of bone idle dole scroungers and those with no right whatsoever to be living there. A country seemingly ashamed of its past and with no pride in its future. A failed country, run by failed leaders, with failed agendas.

Which brings me to Tuilagi. This bloke is a Samoan. He is as English as I am Fijian. I have nothing against him due to his nationality, but let's not pretend he is anything other than a Samoan shall we?. Lest we forget, he should not even be in the country at all, but a few strings were pulled and he merrily stays - a classic example of the utter shambles our borders have become. But how grateful is Tuilagi for our accommodation? It appears he is not in the least bit thankful to his adoptive nation. Why, just 6 weeks ago, off he pops to get a ghastly sleeve tattoo, to "celebrate his Samaoness".

Again, I have no problem with this, but why the hell is he representing England? Play for Samoa you yob, not England. If you are so proud of your heritage, great. But don’t insult us by having a Samoan flag on your arm, then put on the red rose of England and pretend you care about representing the country. Why has Johnson (who is become increasingly ridiculous himself) selecting this idiot? His assault, for that is what it was, on Chris Ashton was all you need to know about this violent pest. I want him nowhere near the England side thank you very much. There are plenty of fine outside centres in England who might actually give a flying rod about representing the country, rather than have it almost literally spat back in our face.

James Simpson Daniel for example. By some very clear distance the best back in England. Not just by a bit. By some clear distance. Quick, great hands, vision, eye for the line, perfectly acceptable in defence. And English. But no. Johnson drops him and selects this Tuilagi, and lest we forget, a bloke who could not even get a club game in New Zealand (or France for that matter), "Ricky" Flutey. Flutey isn’t English. He's a kiwi.

And so is the absurdly monikered "Shonatayne Hape". He's also a kiwi, with a comedy kiwi accent "good as gold eh sweet as bro I just want to smish them eh" etc and the standard comedy kiwi tattoos. Botha? Have you seen this bloke? He is a humourless saffa on a gap year living in a bedsit in Ealing Broadway isn’t he? How the hell did this bloke end up starting a test for England? He clearly cannot believe it himself can he? He walks around Pennyhill Park wondering what the hell happened. He only came to England to work in a pub in Earl’s Court and now he is running out at rugby HQ. I am at a loss for words at this point. Botha? hahaha. It is a DISGRACE he has been picked ahead of the multitude of hard working premiership players. A DISGRACE. And he is not even bloody english.

You thought the list stopped there didn’t you? How about Fourie? Stevens?I am sick of it. These players are not english and should not be representing our country.

I know some of my Aussie readership may remind the Chairman of the England cricket side. “Ah, but Chairman, the cricket side is full of south Africans”. Well this does not exercise me in the same way. KP, as I have often been on record saying, is English, whatever the bitter cricket writers in the Daily Telegraph may think. His mum is from Lancashire and only moved to SA after she got married. KP moved to England when he was 19. Strauss was born in SA to English parents. Prior spent about 20 minutes in SA as a young child. Let's all just calm down shall we? Or I might bring up the Aussie athletics or tennis teams. [NB. I don't defend the selection of Trott. The bloke is a sociopath and not English.]

For the record, I will not support England if Johnson selects any of the above mentioned players. It is beyond the pale. They can lose to anyone for all I care, if I have to watch Tuilagi pretend to know the words to God Save The Queen. (Does he? Let's watch tomorrow).

With the above in mind, here is my XV:

1. Cole
2. Hartley
3. Sheridan (assuming he can actually walk and hasn’t grazed his ear)
4. Laws
5. Palmer
6. Croft
7. Moody (c)
8. Easter
9. Youngs
10. Wilko
11. Monye
12. Tindall (how lame we are still picking this bloke? But I WILL NOT HAVE Flutey or "Happy" in my team.
13. Armitage (yes, at outside centre)
14. Ashton
15. Foden

Am I happy with this team? No, I am not. It’s useless. Weakness in every position. No enforcer. No skills in the centres. A glaring weakness at loosehead as Sheridan gets injured at the drop of the hat. Croft’s form is ludicrous. Moody is not a cleanskin openside. Monye is positionally naive. Foden is a bit of a cock, while Ashton steals hubcaps. Easter is not a serious rugby player. Tindall is old and slow. Armitage is not a specialist OC.

It's all very embarrassing frankly. I have been dreading this RWC for 4 years. Those pesky kiwis, ("oooh, England wearing black shirt disrespects our heritage etc etc" YAWN), who seem to find “disrespect” at the drop of a hat, will walk it. And good luck to them. I am sure they will celebrate it in the same joyless manner they celebrate their annual winning of the tri nations.